Hansum Man Syndrome, Takraw Balls, Jiraporn, Corruption, and Cheating Girlfriends
Tatt2Dude and I were exchanging emails this week and he made a “hansum man” reference. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of the disease called hansum man syndrome (HSM) which is why I am thankful that my undeniably less than hansum appearance serves as an adequate barrier to infection. For those who may not be familiar with this debilitating disease allow me to educate you.
HSM is caused by hearing “You hansum man” so often that one begins to believe it. These poor souls find themselves unable to discern the difference between being told they are hansum man by women hoping to separate them from their money and actually being considered a handsome man by women who have no financial incentive for making such proclamations
As the disease progresses the sufferer may develop a dangerously overinflated ego. If the ego, located between the temporal and frontal lobes, swells large enough it can begin to press against the frontal lobe which will impact his ability to reason. This pressure, if not relieved, may cause the afflicted to begin fancying himself a bit of a ladies man and that young, nubile, attractive women of particular races are genetically more inclined to being attracted to aging, overweight, balding men. In severe cases the disease causes involuntary bragging about romantic conquests with the sufferer completely unaware that anyone flashing a similar amount of baht can purchase the same experience.
If left untreated the disease will progress to the point where the victim becomes so deluded that he may date and/or marry any young lady willing to satiate his ego with a constant chorus of “you hansum man.”
Interestingly, the disease brings about its own cure. As the victim’s wallet is lightened by said girlfriend or wife, pressure on the coccygeal segment of the spine is reduced which, in chain event like fashion, brings temporary relief to the pressure being applied to the frontal lobe. Once the victim’s reasoning faculties are restored and his bank accounts drained the body is able to fill the void caused by the rapid deflation of the ego with racism, bigotry, and chauvinism.
Blog Post of the Week
I found this on the 4amExpat site.
Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: ‘Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball’
Thai Girl of the Week
I ran across a photo of a stunning gal while browsing Flickr (thank you zarileonardo for bringing her to my attention). A little digging around confirmed she was indeed Thai thus her earning the distinct honour of gracing one of my posts.
But it took a little more investigation to get any facts about this winner of the genetic lottery. Turns out she represented the Kingdom as Miss Earth, Thailand. Her name is Jiraporn Sing-ieam and she’s a 20 year old beauty measuring 31″-25″-36″.
Her stated position on the environment is . . . who am I kidding? I couldn’t care less. It’s all blah, blah, blah to me.
A lucky gent identified as Konrad Photography was fortunate enough to get a session with her and has shared some wonderful photos.
He described her as being the girl next door type and she seems to like to goof off a bit for the photographers so I’m prone to believe him. Though he failed to mention her home address so my attempts to make her an actual girl next door were foiled.
She ended up as a finalist and took home a special award for Best in National Costume.
Unfortunately the doesn’t seem to have her own website where we can learn more about her.
Jiraporn, I might be persuaded into offering you a free web hosting deal if you play your cards right. *wink* *wink*
Top Stories of the Week
The Nation was generous enough to publish an editorial that was a laugh riot. The title of the piece was Can the ‘ugly’ govt deliver? That in and of itself isn’t much but it was the tagline for the editorial that made it a must read:
The Samak administration will have to tread carefully if it wants to gain credibility and restore confidence
First off, I highly doubt that anybody in Thai politics even cares if they have the confidence of the people or the rest of the world unless it interferes with them getting what they want. Sure, if US or European money is cut off because of the coup they want to “restore confidence” but only so they can turn the money supply back on.
One of the gems from the article was this paragraph:
The big question is what kind of democracy has been restored: a genuine or a bogus one? A genuine democracy is based on the supremacy of the rule of law, honest government, a functioning checks and balances mechanism, public accountability and respect for civil liberties. A bogus one only takes the form, but not substance, of a true democracy.
Are you fucking joking? This is a country where even a murderer will be offered a price to make the case go away. And not just by the cops. The prosecutors, judges, and the entire legal system is on the take. Supremacy of the rule of law and honest government my arse.
Now, the casual reader might infer that I am criticizing the Thai system. They would be dead wrong. I am criticizing the clueless twat who had mindlessly cranked out an editorial that panders to idealism.
I actually like and can appreciate massive corruption in government. If I get pulled over in Farangland and try to slip the copper a little cash in exchange for him overlooking my regrettable violation of a traffic law the best I can hope for is that he ignores my bribery attempt and at worst I may get an ass kicking and thrown in jail.
As incongruent as it may sound there is a certain honesty and openness in a corrupt society that does not exist in one considered above such things. Corruption exists in all societies but in Farangland you have to be at the very upper echelon of the food chain in order to receive the benefits. The well connected always seem to find a way to get a little extra entitlement out of the government. While government officials might be above accepting cash payment (and some don’t even have a problem with that) they aren’t above exchanging a little back scratching.
But in a corrupt country everything can be bought for a price. It gives the average person the same access to favors that in Farangland can only be had by the very powerful and connected. It is honest because it doesn’t matter who I am. As long as I have the ability to pay I am on equal footing with anybody else who has the same ability.
Of course, I would prefer that all societies are honest and above corruption but as long as they aren’t I much prefer one in which I have equal access to the corruption.
Here’s some other interesting things in the news this week:
A shocking look at the bar scene in Bangkok. Some twenty two percent of bars open on Jan 1 2007 were closed by Dec 31 2007. Still thinking of opening a bar?
The Lost Boy looks at whether or not disabled people are being involuntarily sterilized.
Seems like somebody forgot to tell Samak that his job was to be Thaksin’s proxy until he returned. Now Samak is going off and making decisions on his own.
Perhaps in an attempt to bring back that credibility and honesty that the Nation wrote about, Thai border police have been nabbed for setting people up on false drug charges.
The same company providing the crappiest air travel I’ve ever experienced now wants to open up budget hotels. This is sure to end up well.
And this headline is being included simply because I couldn’t stop laughing when I read it:
Merrill Lynch upgrades Thailand to overweight
Email of the Week
BBKK,
I was hoping you might be able to offer some advice. I had begun to suspect that my girlfriend had been cheating on me. I decided I had to find out so searched around on the internet and found a keylogger application which I then installed on my home PC which my girlfriend and I share.
It took less than a week for my suspicions to be confirmed. Not only was she in contact with another man but she was talking to several different men. I’m absolutely gutted. I thought I had found true love. I’ve been going through alternating emotions of despair and anger for almost two weeks now.
I haven’t said anything to her about it but I know she can see a difference in the way I treat her. I am cold and distant knowing that I’m going to have to confront her. I don’t exactly know why I’m holding off but it’s eating me up inside and the longer I let it fester the bigger the eventual blowup.
I’m conflicted as to whether or not I should have a good old fashioned argument where I present her with the evidence and we fight it out. I’m afraid that giving her the chance to respond will suck me in and after a tearful apology I’ll take her back. My other option is to just leave one day when she goes to visit her family. I would leave a print out of the email and IM’s by the front door so she would know she was caught red handed.
I’m just so confused by all of this. I hope you can help.
Jake
Jake,
Downloading software off of the internet isn’t something you should do without taking proper precautions. First, make sure it’s a reputable site that you’re downloading from. Second, do a search to see if other people are using it and recommending it. Third, make sure you run a virus scanner on it to make sure you aren’t going to infect your computer.
Best of luck to you,
Billy Bangkok
Final Thought of the Week
They say that love is blind. Well, I’m not. Bring on the hotties.
Housekeeping
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