Freaky Air Hostesses, What White Guys Like, Fern, and Fuck
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts I do not have the great pleasure of living in the LOS. That means if I want to date “normal” Thai women I’m at a pretty severe disadvantage given their tendency to be shy for the first 1000 dates. So that ushers me toward the only viable option; internet dating. Like countless other losers people before me I’ve been reduced to creating online profiles and paying to post a picture and some words about myself in the hopes such bait will lure the women in.
To be honest I’ve had mixed success and unfortunately a lot of it is trial and error to see what does and doesn’t work in the online realm. You keep adjusting and tweaking until you think you come off as sufficiently confident without being a jerk, romantic without being a pussy, and interested enough without seeming needy. Mix in an eclectic mix of Thai women and viola you have the makings of either a great romance, twisted comedy, or tragic drama. If you’re really lucky you might even get all three in one girl. I call that the online dating trifecta!
At some point I’ll put together a whole series of posts about my experiences but I wanted to use this week’s column to talk about a very specific sub-section of online daters that I only ran across in the last few days. By pure dumb luck I opened up three or four profiles in a row that had some veryspecific and strange requirements. No, these were not simply cut and paste jobs but this was a section of women who were interested in very, very specific types of men.
Here’s a sample profile that has only been edited in order not to make it easy for someone to Google and find this person. The specifics and the tone are pretty much dead on with the original profile and were the same for each girl.
I’m not here to make friends so please don’t ask me to add you because I won’t. I am only interested in meeting people from the USA. I don’t want to Yahoo or MSN with you. You can chat with me on this site only. And no cam crap. If you are not from USA, want to IM, or ask for to add you as a friend I will block your account.
Of course, they usually started off with some standard fluffy stuff about what they were and weren’t into (music, romance, etc) but nearly all had something like the above at the end of the profile.
This alone would have had me intrigued but the other thing that these women all had in common was that they were amazingly beautiful and each had a professionally done set of very sexy photos. One girl in particular stands out in my mind because she was wearing some sort of loose cut-up tank-top type t-shirt and the photographer shot from the side which basically showed off everything but nipple. Now, if you’ve spent any time on online dating sites you might see the odd girl here and there that has something a little sexy in their photos but typically it’s not professionally shot and the less clothes she has on in the photo the more likely she is to be a pay for play type of gal.
So I emailed all four. I tailored the emails around the profiles so they were personalized and then sat back expecting to never hear from them again. But to my surprise I do get an email back from none other than the I almost saw your nipples girl. Again, I will post her response here edited for personal details and so that if she ever happened upon this site herself she wouldn’t be 100% sure if she wrote the email or which specific guy she sent it to. Tone and overall message remain basically as were sent to me.
Okay, here is what I’m here for if you have an interest. Airline workers are allowed to visit the USA on a tourist visa for 10 days per year. Since Dec of last year this only applies for Thai nationals. If you want me to come see you in the USA it would cost you only $400 for the price of the visa application because we can fly anywhere for free.
I am only interested in finding a husband and serious relationship so I have no time to play games as I only have X days left for this year. Unless you are 100% serious do not bother replying. If you are serious my flight schedule allows me to be online from XX:XX to YY:YY NYC time every day. You must be on time!!
Here is some personal information about me:
[DELETED]
Unfortunately, due to the fact that there was a major tizzy in Thailand about a show about air hostesses and typing in any search phrase which includes the words “thailand” and “visa” spews forth 10 kazillion returns for obtaining a visa for foreigners to stay in Thailand I was unable to confirm any of this.
I did notice that while all girls claimed to be from Thailand they were all stationed in the Philippines. A specific airline was mentioned by one girl but it’s relatively unimportant other than to know that all girls were stationed in the same country and all listed “Airlines” as their occupation. The last piece of similar information is though all of them were drop dead gorgeous they were all over the age of 32 (and certainly looked more mature than some early 20-something gal).
Now, I’ve read been reading for years from most of the blogs and message boards that detail how not to be a total chump in Thailand and I can’t say I ever remember hearing of anything like this. Has anybody ever heard of anything like this?
I’m trying to find the angle here. I can’t imagine something so elaborate for $400. And because this involves them coming to the US it would be easy enough for any curious guy to fire off an email to the appropriate agency to find out if such a program exists, what the costs are, and anything else he needed to know. I mean, most scams work because everything is happening in reverse. The guy is dealing with a country, government, and culture he doesn’t understand and a language he doesn’t speak. I guess it could be something as cheap as a $400 scam but sure seems like a lot of risk.
The other part that has me curious enough to consider getting up and trying to catch her on her schedule to get more info is exactly what is her plan here? Even if this is 100% legit, sounds to me like she would be flying to the US, staying with you for about a week, and then pissing back off home to wait for her marriage proposal from you. One girl specifically mentioned in her profile that she expected to be married within a year of meeting with a guy. Not to put any pressure on or anything.
If anybody has any insight into this I would love to hear it. I’m not considering such an offer for numerous reasons but I do look at scams like magic tricks. I just have to know what the trick is.
Speaking of air hostesses, anybody know where the hangouts are for the queens of the sky are in BKK? I know a couple of hotel bars around Europe and the US that see a lot of flight crew action but haven’t ever heard of anybody talk about where the gals hit when in the Big Mango.
Blog Post of the Week
I know people are going to misread my endorsement this week but I really don’t care. The site is Stuff White People Like and the post winning high marks is #11 Asian Girls. Now the article itself which is about why white men like Asian women only gets passing grades for being a slightly racist parody. I mean, it’s mostly written from the point of view of someone who lives on the California coast where lots of Asians live and where more and more Asians are dating white guys. But it’s the comments to the post that had me laughing and crying. I laughed because it was obvious some people went there with the intent to wind people up and I cried because some people displayed such bigotry and ignorance that I feel sorry for the world. All in all this post received over 1000 comments and here are some of the more interesting ones I was able to pluck out. Please keep in mind that I’m mostly picking out stuff that was intended to wind people up or is so unintentionally ignorant that it deserved to be highlighted.
NOT ME, they tooo skinny with all them pokey bones stickin out! Give me one of them fat trailer park white bitches whos finnna tattoo my name on they neck, titty and wrist!
I invented a word for this type of white guy — a “gawkasian”
I remember two hapas talking. One asked the other “why is it always the mom who’s asian?” [Editor Note: Hapa is some sort of slang for half Asian]
Asian men can be as nerdy as whites, so Asian girls can date white nerds and get access to a slightly bigger penis without fear getting an STD or having a deadbeat dad for their baby.
If you ask me, and you didn’t, white women deserve asian men because they’re both about as pleasant to be married to.
I don’t how any man would like a women with a flat chest and no ass, which is typically how Asian women look.
my wife, an MD, sees A LOT of dick. I remember back in her 2nd year of med school saying “wow I’m really surprised how well the penis size stereotypes hold true”
Ok, I know that was unrelated. But really, girls DO like NICE guys. One thing I’ve noticed about Asian/White couples, is that the guy always happened to be a SUPER nice guy - he wasn’t just ANY white guy, but a REALLY REALLY nice one.
Asians do not have souls. On the plus side, if you have an Asian wife, you’ll never have to spend money on a mirror. Only people with souls can cast reflections.
Guys who teach english overseas are all scumbags. Fact.
Rampant and popularized childfucking is one of those “cultural differences” a normal Westerner will come across during their travels in Asia (esp Japan) and say “rrrreally?
The best part of this is the annoyed white girls who try to talk down white male / asian women relationships. It’s like somehow they feel their control of wussy white men is in danger.
Marry an “asian” and PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ADOPTED YOUR OWN CHILD!!!
I do not know ANY (and I mean any) white guys (including myself) who take any serious interest in Asian women. It’s nothing more than a passing fancy.
So any of you expats in Thailand in a real big hurry to get back home so you can go swing a few pints with the brain trust above? 
Thai Girl of the Week
No long story on the wonderful Fern other than she was part of a photographer’s collection. She may or may not be a professional model but she looked cute and sweet so I thought why not give her the honors for gracing the world with her beauty.
Photo by tammfotografie on Flickr
Top Stories of the Week
Did anything really happen this week other than more pissing matches between the former and current PMs?
Final Thought of the Week
I was talking with a Thai friend of mine and asked her what kinds of movies she likes. She said anything except comedy. I asked why she didn’t like comedy and she said because she ends up not getting most of the jokes. When I pressed her on this what it came down to is that while she spoke English very well a lot of English-based comedy resorts to playing with the meaning of words in order to create subtle differences.
And with that I remembered back to someone trying to create the longest sentence using (almost) only the word “fuck.” I couldn’t quite remember the entire sentence but it was along the lines of Fuck the fucking fucker fucking fucked the fuck out of the fucking . . . can’t remember the rest. The point being that with just one word we have so many different ways to use it. It can be used as a verb, adverb, noun or adjective. For someone who has learned English as a second language that can make it pretty fucking hard. Let’s take it easy on them when they make some gramatical mistakes
Housekeeping
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The views expressed in this post may or may not reflect the actual views of any real or imaginary persons, living or dead. Nothing in this post, including this disclaimer, should be construed as factual or even informational. The author is quite often wrong and is prone to pathological lying. Under no circumstances should readers rely on any financial, medical, legal, relationship, or auto repair advice communicated in this or any other post on this website.
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