Sonia Couling Wallpaper
A nice way to brighten things up on your computer.
Last Chapter on Suki Falconberg (Hopefully)
In case you’re coming in mid-stream, you can get a better understanding of this post by reading the following two previous posts:
Enslaved Bar Girls in Pattaya??
My Response to Suki Falconberg
After the second post Suki emailed me directly with a multi-page response to what I had written. She said she was referencing some personal details about herself and thus did not want me to post the emails nor did she want to respond on the website. I respected that wish though she said very little in the email that I haven’t seen her post herself on other websites.
I responded back to her pointing out not only the multitude of things she was factually incorrect about but also flaming her for her victim attitude. I explained to her how claiming that every time she had sex as a prostitute was rape was an insult to every woman who has actually been physically forced to have sex against her will. She readily admits that she was not pimped nor was she a blow job in the alley type prostitute. She often dined with her customers first and always had the ability to walk away from any guy she didn’t want to have sex with.
To keep calling that rape in every single post she does about prostitution is only self-serving. Perhaps she thinks way down deep inside that she can justify a poor life decision by equating it with forced sex. Perhaps she feels that the need to make money was her coercion. Personally it sickens me that she insists on using such an emotionally charged word to describe her decision to have sex with men for money.
On that topic, one of the points she’s made in the past and she made yet again in her email was that prostitution is designed only to give the man benefits while the prostitute gets nothing. It’s a clever trick she plays because your first thought is to think about the fact that the guy is getting his kicks while most could care less if the prostitute finds the experience enjoyable. But then you remember, oh year, he’s paying her for this. If we use Suki’s victim-like thinking then my employer is the only one who benefits from my hard work. Everybody can be a victim if we discount the fact that we’re paid to perform our jobs. Suki’s job was to have sex with men. I’m sorry she found it unfulfilling physically and emotionally but she was paid a fair wage for her services. If she’s unhappy with her career choice then she can change jobs. But to claim that she received nothing out of her hooking experience is disingenuous much like everything else that comes out of her mouth.
After my email response to her she sent me another multi-page email which I chose not to respond to. I decided not to respond to her emails any more because it’s quite obvious she has no desire to be educated. Her emails ask leading questions and when you correct her she simply re-phrases the same misinformation. How can you continue to have an intellectually honest conversation with someone who’s logic works like this?
Yes, we are victims. Most definitely we are victims. I am not ashamed of being a victim. I am many other things–a writer, a professional, a good friend to those who need me, a compassionate person. But I am also a victim–and I am not ashamed of this. I am not ashamed either to acknowledge that prostitution is rape of the female body. I will admit the rape is far, far worse with the imprisoned brothel girl than with the girl who has some ‘choice,’ but it is still rape.
And then in the same emails says:
I need to add that I don’t think there is anything wrong with prostitution if it benefits the girl and she is not hurt by it. But many prostitutes also report a lot of physical violence by customers. And a lot of psychological damage. If we can change prostitution so that it is kind to the girl, and good for her, I would be all for it. But attitudes that she is ‘dirt’ are never going to help change this for her–and her ‘kind.’
All prostitutes are victims and prostitution is rape of the female body but she’s okay with it if it benefits the girl and she is not hurt by it?!??!?! What’s even better is that she admits that she was more of the escort type of hooker and not someone who was forced to have sex so by definition she was engaging in the type of prostitution that she says is okay but then she claims that every time she had sex with a customer she was raped.
This Suki gal is really fucked in the head. She’s a pathological liar and as manipulative as a Patpong lifer. My best read on her is that her crusade is to convince the world that she is a victim. Her decision to sell her body for money was not her fault. She seems to want to remove any accountability for her poor career choice by making it seems as if she had no choice. She latches onto sensationalistic accounts of severe mistreatment of women and then hopes some of the pity for them will brush off onto her if she can associate herself with them closely enough by making sure everyone knows she’s an ex-prostitute. In fact, that’s is her only expertise on the subject matter. Everything else she knows comes from watching documentary films (which is how she came up with all of her accusations about the enslaved Pattaya girls).
What a waste.
Watch Out on July 2
Either things are going to get better or get much worse in Thailand . . . if you put any faith in astrology.
Heavens above
Former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra on Monday urged Thais to put their faith in astrology, and blamed the alignment of planets for the current economic and political troubles. But a "real" fortune teller said the ex-premier was wrong and predicted bloodshed in three weeks.
Street protests against the Thaksin government have been rumbling since May 25, while soaring oil prices and inflation have shaken investors and prompted farmers and transport workers to threaten strikes.
This is because Mars and Saturn are close together, Mr Thaksin claimed on Monday. He added that the troublres will ease soon.
"Be patient with the headache-inducing situation until July 2," Mr Thaksin told reporters. "Mars moving close to Saturn causes the headache. When Mars leaves, the situation will ease."
Famed fortune-teller Luck Rekhanitade disagreed. He predicted the opposite, that a deadly situation will occur on July 2.
In fact, he said that July 2 is the scariest day of the past 30 years. He predicted conflicts will erupt which could lead to bloodshed in the heart of the city when the violence peaks on July 6.
The astrologer urged Thais to reunite, a step which would prevent his prediction from coming true.
Mr Thaksin has put great stock in predictions of fortune tellers and astrologers.
When he was prime minister, Mr Thaksin ordered the first plane at the new Suvarnabhumi airport to land t precisely 9:19am because a seer had convinced him it was an auspicious moment.
For a while, he cancelled weekly press conferences, claiming that Mercury was not in a favourable alignment.
For all his faith in fortune tellers, he was completely taken by surprise when the army overthrew him in a coup on Sept 19, 2006.
How Can You Not Love Thailand?
The great thing about Thailand is that people don’t even care if you know you’re being bullshitted. Case in point:
Samak proposes casino for Thailand – under another label
BANGKOK: — It’s time for Thailand to have an entertainment complex housing a casino, sports arena and convention hall, Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej said yesterday.
To avoid criticism or a negative response from the public on hearing that money would be spent on building a casino, Samak called it an entertainment complex rather than a casino.
He put forward the idea while meeting with officials and representatives from the tourism industry in Chiang Mai last Saturday and talked about the project on his Sunday television programme.
"In other countries in the region, such as Malaysia, Vietnam, Cambodia and Singapore, they’ve already added a casino as a tourist attraction. For Thailand, we still have nothing similar," Samak told the meeting.
Samak’s representative said the project was expected to be built near Suvarnabhumi Airport.
"The complex will feature a casino, sports activities, a shopping mall, hotels, a conference hall and recreational activities," the representative said.
She said Samak wanted to build the complex near the new airport on expectations it would attract more business to eastern Bangkok. Muang Thong Thani, which features huge exhibition halls and residences, is a good example of successful growth due to close proximity to an airport: Don Mueang.
"Being on the other side of Bangkok and near Suvarnabhumi Airport, the complex should act as a magnet for new businesses," she said.
However, a project budget, other details and a timeline have not yet been discussed.
Samak has been pushing the casino project since becoming prime minister.
At the Chiang Mai meeting, Samak also discussed with operators and agencies how to boost tourism in the North.
With the soaring cost of jet fuel, Samak has ordered national carrier Thai Airways International to study the reintroduction of ATR aircraft, in order to provide low-cost services on short domestic routes like Chiang Mai to Mae Hong Son.
Moreover, the Chiang Mai Convention Centre, first planned years ago, was reconsidered at the meeting. The government has made a commitment for it to be completed within two years. However, the cost of construction has jumped from the original Bt1.8 billion to Bt2.3 billion.
– The Nation 2008-06-17
So, Samak calls his casino an entertainment complex and ta-da! It’s no longer a casino. How brilliant is that? There was another guy who was good at spinning the painfully obvious into whatever he wanted people to believe. If I could only remember who that guy was.
My Response to Suki Falconberg
I recently commented on the deplorably misinformed article written by Suki Falconberg. Suki decided to respond in my comments and I wanted to respond in a much more appropriate fashion.
Hello, this is Suki, the ‘hooker’:–Since you guys in Pattaya picked up on my Nimitz article, I’ve been reading your comments on it—and on me. One man mentioned that many of the bar girls in Pattaya are there due to husbands having deserted them, and they have children and no education and no alternative ways to make a living. And he says they are ‘free’ to leave at any time.
If they have no other ways to make a living, then how does ‘freedom’ enter in in any way? A girl can only ‘choose’ prostitution if she is not economically desperate.
How hard is it for uneducated women and girls to find work other than sex work in Thailand?
First off, Suki, I don’t live in Pattaya. In fact I have never even been to Pattaya. Not because of the prostitution but because of my own personal belief is that Pattaya lures the worst types of farang (foreigners) and the worst type of Thai girl.
As to your question as to what kind of opportunities are provided to uneducated women in Thailand I can tell you from personal experience that it is not a binary choice. Every woman behind the counter of a 7-11 had a choice. Every woman who works in cleaning, laundry, etc had a choice. I personally know women who are so amazingly attractive that they would be the star performer in any naughty nightlife venue but chose to keep their dignity and work for 6000 baht a month when bar girls can earn up to 100,000 baht a month.
Selling your body is a choice. These girls made a choice. They decided that the potential to earn 100,000 baht a month was worth throwing away their dignity rather than take a job at 6,000 baht a month which would have put food in their stomachs, paid the rent, and maybe even send a little home to their families.
I find one man saying that the bar girls in Pattaya are sleaze and trash. So, that’s a second perspective I’m getting from your part of the world. (If you have a lot of different men use you, by the way, it tends to inevitably turn a girl into sleaze and trash. Hard to hold onto sweetness and innocence after a while.)
We actually agree on some level. I don’t think of these girls as trash but I do admit that it is hard to hold onto sweetness and innocence after being too long in the industry. I have kept in contact with several girls that I have met through the bar scene in Bangkok and Phuket and whenever they’ve had the choice of going legit or staying in the bar scene I’ve pleaded with them to go legit.
In fact, I just had a IM chat with a girl last night who I met via the bar scene in Phuket who had a chance out with a English guy who took her back to his country. They broke up and she ended up back in her impoverished town. I pleaded with her over weeks not to go back to the Phuket bar scene. She told me heart-wrenching stories of her economic plight but I kept encouraging her to just stick it out and look for legitimate work. She is now earning a third of what she made working the bars but is very happy she made the choice she did. She knows how it would have impacted her emotionally to keep doing what she did and she is willing to trade her well-being for over the money she could be making.
I am trying to understand your point of view—as I have been trying to understand the point of view of sailors I’ve talked to for several decades now.
I am well aware that sex tourists are also there—not just militaries, but I focus on the US military since it has a personal angle for me—having worked as a prostitute near a US base. I am also well aware of the huge use of prostitutes by local men in Thailand and how they’ve used the Burmese girls trafficked into brothels, etc. and how the brothels are coercive and use the typical debt bondage, etc.—at least dozens upon dozens upon dozens of sources say this, so there must be some truth in it.
Actually the military is such a small part of the overall prostitution scene in Thailand that the fact that you highlighted it discredits everything else you say afterwards.
And you are way, way, way wrong on your even partial acknowledgement of the Thai prostitution scene. The most conservative estimate is that only 10% of prostitution in Thailand is farang/Thai oriented. That means 90% of girls hooking in Thailand are shagging other Thais.
As for the figure that a third of the girls in prostitution in Thailand are under 18, that comes from various sources and government agencies, and NGO’s and articles and also a show called the New Heroes, another PBS one about the increasing sale of younger and younger girls into the sex trade due to AIDS. This particular show had ample footage of very, very, very young girls—12 and 13 yr. olds–standing in front of the Patpong establishments. In that footage, I’d say the majority looked as if they were under 15. I would define ‘child prostitute,’ as anyone under the age of 18. This is a ‘legal’ definition, by the way.
Is Bangkok full of much younger prostitutes than Pattaya or Phuket?
Well, you are woefully misinformed. Part of that is that NGOs tend to blow things out of proportion so they can continue receiving funding. For instance there was a recent post about pedophilia in Cambodia and the author of the piece basically discovered that the vast, vast, vast majority of pedophilia cases in Cambodia were Cambodian on Cambodian. The NGO’s even have billboards up in Cambodia – in English – proudly announcing that over 2000 pedophiles have been caught in the last 5 years in Cambodia. Only problem is that only 10 or so foreigners per year are actually caught engaging in such activity. The other 1950 pedophiles that the NGO’s trumpet are actually Cambodians.
The same holds true in Thailand. As a farang if you begged to have sex with a 12 year old you would have an almost zero chance. It’s not that it’s impossible but I don’t even know who would begin to ask. And I know a lot of freaky people in Thailand. If you’re talking about Thai on Thai (or Thai on Lao, or Thai on Burmese) . . . you can probably find it for enough money.
When there is underage sex between farang and Thai it is usually because the girl has a faked ID card and she’s actually 17 instead of 18.
Most farangs count on the bars to verify that the girls working there are of legal age. The criminal repercussions for having sex with someone under age are pretty severe in Thailand for both the bar and the customer so both are very careful to stay on the right side of the law. Oh, and on top of that the guy’s hotel usually take the girl’s ID card when he brings her back to his room to make sure she doesn’t rip off the guest and few, if any, hotels would let an underage girl go to a guy’s room.
As for my comment on ‘brothel town for the military,’ I know all of you guys over there are aware of the background of sex tourism in Thailand—how it grew out of the heavy US military presence during the Vietnam era—damn, I’ve probably read that in about 200 sources—how this huge sex tourism industry that reigns there now and is a major attraction of the country–was jump-started by our presence—that’s what I meant by that phrase. Now, of course, in terms of numbers, sex tourists and local men outnumber the militaries that visit. Back during the Vietnam era, the stats were huge as for how many guys took R & R there!
What is the background of the prostitute, bar girl or not? That is really crucial. She may smile and smile and smile but how did she get to this bar, selling herself to this man? What kind of poverty, hardening, ‘seasoning,’ lets her do this?
It is very difficult, selling your body. You may not want to hear this but sex with drunk rough Marines is chilling and terrifying—until your body and every thing else numbs out. You smile and smile and smile. But he doesn’t see what’s happening inside. You’re small and he’s big and he could really hurt you.
It still doesn’t excuse the inaccuracy of your statement. It’s like saying that America is a trading post for slavery. It has a hint of truth to it – 200 years ago – but it’s absurdly inaccurate.
Again, you display your ignorance with your statement about how these girls get here. Most are dirt poor rice farmer daughters. The government shits on these people so there are no social services like there are in the West. When you get too old to work . . . well, you’re screwed. So Thai farmers have lots of kids and send them off to Bangkok and other big cities to go make money to send back to mom and dad. These girls hit Bangkok and can either find work legitimately in factories or retail shops or if they are pretty someone will suggest that they can work the go-go bars making 3 or 4 times as much.
These girls all make the choice for the easy money over working hard. Nobody is forced into what they do. There are no pimps or anything like that in the Thailand naughty nightlife. The only pimp they may have is a Thai boyfriend who decides he doesn’t want to work and he lets his girlfriend fuck foreigners for cash so he can go out and get drunk every day.
Chances are her father or mother has either or a gambling or a drinking problem . . . or both. Any money she sends back to her boyfriend or her parents goes to paying off those vices.
But the strange part, which I’m sure you won’t understand, is if some Westerner walked up to any of these bar girls and shoved 100,000 baht in her hand to get out of the life . . . she would be back hooking before his plane even taxied off the runway.
In fact, I’ve read about way too many farang business owners in Thailand who try to offer these girls a way out. Again and again they see the same situation of girls too lazy to even take his offer of free computer courses. The girls are making far more in the bars than they can make in an office job and so they gravitate back to the bars even when helping hands are extended to them.
Sure, when they first hit the nightlife scene they dream of meeting their prince charming and having him erase all of her financial needs but the guys who come don’t want whores for wives or girlfriends so they have sex with them and then go back home. A few unfortunate souls do fall in love and quickly learn that a hardened Thai girl can strip a farang clean of his net worth faster than vultures can clean a carcase.
You have no idea how frightening 5000 drunk Marines are to a small girl.
Hell, 5000 drunk Marines would scare the crap out of me too and I’m ex-US military. There’s a reason they’re scary. They’re trained killers. But, much like you do elsewhere, you completely distort things. No single girl is banging 5000 drunk Marines (probably not even in her entire career). In fact, the more likely scenario is that she meets up with one Marine and spends the next 4 or 5 days of his shore leave with him. And just as likely she ends up stripping him of all of the money he’s saved up while out at sea.
See the thing most Western women don’t understand about Thai prostitution is that it’s not like paying some girl $50 to give you a blow job. You’re hiring a girlfriend. It’s not the cheap and tawdry act it is in the Western world.
Seasoned expats call it the GFE (Girl Friend Experience). She’ll stay with you for a quick bang, a night, a week, a month or even longer. She’ll be your girlfriend for however long you want. As long as you have the money to pay they are willing to pretend to be in love with you. They’re like rent-a-girlfriends. You go to dinner with them. Eat breakfast with them. Take them out shopping. Everything you would do with a normal girl.
The funny part about your ignorance is that many of these guys end up falling in love because these girls are so charming. Many of these girls have 4, 5, or 6 dumb Westerners sending them money so they can get out of the prostitution life and they take their money and still work in the bars. Far from the enslavement you claim. Literally, some of these girls are pulling down more cash per month than someone with a Masters degree. How’s that for a simple farmer’s daughter?
Don’t believe me? Go do a search on private eyes in Thailand. The vast majority of cases they handle are checking up on girls who are making 3 or 4 times the average wage in their country for simply staying out of the bars. Yet 80%+ of the girls are still working the bar scene.
I smiled all the time when I sold sex. And flirted and came on to the men and smiled and smiled and smiled—and got very, very hard inside due to misery, humiliation, and pain. You guys never see what is inside us.
I don’t doubt it. And anybody who frequents the bar scene knows that the longer she’s been working the bar the more fucked up she’ll be. But, again, probably surprising to only you, they get fucked up from their fellow Thais who coax them into drugs or other things that completely screw them up.
Sure part of that may be the desire to ease the pain of having to sell their bodies but trust me, these girls incur much more damage at the hands of their fellow Thais than they do from their farang customers. Most farangs are well meaning, get confused about the whole girl friend experience, and actually end up having feelings for some of these girls. The girl’s Thai boyfriend probably beats the crap out of her, steals her money, and sleeps around on her. And if she comes from a family with gambling and drinking problems you can rest assured that the pressure on her to keep the money coming in is very high.
How many of the bar girls in Pattaya are pimped? That is another crucial question. How much of the money is hers? How does that bar fine system work? I have read a lot about it but still don’t understand it completely.
Very few . . . if any. Read what I’ve written above and you’ll know that the only girls getting pimped are those with a completely fucked up Thai boyfriend who is taking all of her money to buy drugs or booze. Most either send the money back home to momma and papa or become caught up in lifestyle and waste all of their money on the latest mobile phones or other useless gadgetry.
Instead of saying degrading things about me on your Pattaya magazines and blogs, please give me some space to have my say—and to ask you about your point of view. I really do want to know how you think about all this.
You have been given a forum and you still prove to be ignorant of the topic matter of which you profess to be an expert.
Another point: I have actually talked to military men who’ve visited prostitutes in Pattaya, Phuket, Korea, Okinawa who have been more of my mind—they think there is exploitation involved. That poverty and force and desperation feed this sex trade that you men so liberally take advantage of. He has the money. She doesn’t. Women with some financial equality rarely turn to sex with strangers as a ‘choice.’
Your comments were not about Korea or Okinawa so I can only comment on your ignorance about prostitution in Thailand. Obviously poverty plays a part in most prostitution. The difference is whether these ladies are being forced to do something against their will. In Thailand that is certainly not the case. In fact, a Thai woman who I often disagree with posted about a television show in Thailand that talked about how most young women in the poor rural areas of the country specifically want to meet a foreign man and get married to one. A lot of these girls get into hooking because they’re hoping to meet their farang prince charming who will deliver them from their current life. They obviously have a choice. They can decide to do like the other 90% of the women in their country do or they can take the quick cash and fast track to meeting their prince charming.
Unfortunately, like everyplace else in the world, most people choose the quick path.
Another thing is that, if you read a lot of my articles, you will see I am not a prude and I am not coming at this from a religious moral standpoint. If prostitution were all fun and joy for the girl, I would support it wholeheartedly! I am not at all for condemning girls who sell sex. But I don’t think that sex for survival is much fun for the girl.
I don’t suggest you are a moralistic idiot. What I do suggest is that you speak without knowing even the most basic aspects of which you speak. You made some pretty damning accusations in your article which don’t stand up to even the slightest hint of scrutiny. You obviously know nothing about prostitution in Thailand yet you tried to pass yourself off as some sort of expert simply because you whored yourself out in the past. As if your short career hooking suddenly puts you inside the head of some Thai girl. As if your time taking money for sex suddenly grants you infinite knowledge about prostitution world wide.
I offer you this challenge: Go try to save some of these girls from the 5000 sex starved Marines. Half would turn you down outright. The other half might consider it and take whatever money you offered and as soon as you left would be hooking regardless if you gave them a year’s salary or a lifetime’s salary. There’s a saying in Thailand that is meant to educate dumb Western guys from doing something too stupid; you can take the girl out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of the girl. Once they acquire a taste for the easy money and lazy lifestyle they are simply beyond being helped.
Contrary to what you might read into my message, I don’t look down on these girls. In fact, I have tried to help many of them get out of the business before they become too hardened. Even the hardened ones are amongst my friends. I understand them, treat them as fellow human beings, and relate to them. To say that your article was the purest form of pontificating, patronizing, crap I’ve ever read is a compliment.
Thai culture, Thai thinking, does not work how it does in the West. That is why I love this country. Not because of the prostitutes or any of that. It’s because their way of thinking is so at odds with Western accepted norms that it forces you to examine who you are and why you believe what you believe.
Believe it or not, I don’t frequent Thai prostitutes very often. I do travel there quite often though. I love so many aspects of the culture that the good outweighs the bad. But I do know girls who work in the go-go scene. I also know girls from the highest levels of Thai society. And I know girls from every layer in between. Your comments and your article show a complete lack of understanding of any level of Thai society.
The funny part is that I know girls who are supposed to be considered "good girls" who wouldn’t even think twice if a man Thai or Westerner offered to pay all of their expenses in exchange for sex whenever he wanted it. Do you even know the term "mia noi"? Many Thai men have a first wife and a second wife. The first wife is the Madonna and the second wife is the whore if you want to get into the Madonna/Whore complex thing. Not only that but if he’s got big enough cahones he can move his mia noi (second wife) into his home and the first wife often accepts that. This is common enough that it’s part of Thai soap operas.
Have you heard any of this before? Do you actually know ANYTHING about Thai culture?
Another point: in a discussion, it is wise to attack the ideas of the person, not the person herself. Opens up conversation, instead of dissuading it.
Cordially, Suki, ex-hooker (as you guys in Pattaya call me)
Please feel free to print the above on any of your blogs or Pattaya magazines–
I don’t think I’ve attacked you personally other than to point out your prejudice, inconsistencies, and your frequent liberties with the truth. I’m not really open to conversation with you on this topic because you’ve demonstrated not once but twice that you have no clue what you’re talking about. What good would a conversation do? If you want something meaningful to come out of this exchange you should do more listening than talking.
I’ll offer you a challenge. Come with me to Thailand. I’ll take you to the absolute worst places that Thailand has to offer in terms of prostitution. If you can spot one underage girl or one girl who is "enslaved" I’ll shout about it at the top of my lungs here. In fact, I’ll invite you to meet some girls – friends of mine – who’ve been in the game for a few years and you can ask them how much money you would have to give them to go back home and never to return . . . chances are you and I put together don’t have that kind of money.
The challenge is there. If you can’t wait for my next trip (currently planned for Dec) then I can introduce you to half a dozen guys who can show you the same thing as I’ve promised.